Saturday, January 02, 2016

It's been a while

Monday, December 29, 2008

So it actually works as designed.

Nobody Could Have Predicted

Sunday, July 13, 2008

pla safety


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

correct thought

You can't argue with them about what they really believe because they won't acknowledge it. It's all coded in a bunch of focus-grouped language about "school vouchers" and "no child left behind" and they never admit that what they're really trying to achieve are orchestrated corporate raids on the public sphere. You're stuck trying to pin down a moving target whose specialty is hypocrisy and bad faith as a matter of principle.

what she said about Buckley's heirs.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Fucked up, even by Texas gun safety standards.

In Dallas, of all places.

Security details at Barack Obama's rally Wednesday stopped screening people for weapons at the front gates more than an hour before the Democratic presidential candidate took the stage at Reunion Arena.

"[T]he turnout of more than 17,000 people seemed to be a 'friendly crowd.'"


The U.S. Secret Service on Friday defended its handling of security during a massive rally in downtown Dallas for Barack Obama, saying there was no "lapse" in its "comprehensive and layered security plan," which called for some people to be checked for weapons, while others were not.


Really people, thats fucked up, even by Texas gun safety standards.

More thoughts on the matter.

Friday, February 08, 2008

random gun safety

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

federal constitution safety

what she said.
Make the calls, send the messages, watch the debate, participate like a citizen, like an American, like this is all you've got left because it fucking is. Right now

Friday, January 11, 2008


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

new evidence

Saturday, December 22, 2007

war on christmas safety.

Monday, October 22, 2007

current failure

failure of imagination
failure of vision
failure of leadership
failure of decency
failure of honesty
failure of process
failure of progress
failure of scholarship
failure of law
failure of values
failure of morality
failure of religion
failure of questions
failure of answers

failure of humanity

(failure of gun safety)

failure of america.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Gun Safety Congress Party

Monday, August 27, 2007

replay time

Saturday, July 14, 2007

cowboy words

I know cowboys, and believe me: George W. Bush is no cowboy. Rest in peace, Dad.

gun safety prose

Thursday, July 12, 2007

oh. your god.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

play time

war criminal

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

a parade of sentences like the following

Some great philosopher should write a book about people.

TV immobilizes the reasoning centers in the brain and stimulates the primitive, instinctive parts, allowing political demagogues to exaggerate dangers and stoke up fear.

Furthermore, “conglomerates can dominate the expressions of opinion that flood the mind of the citizenry” and “the result is a de facto coup d’état overthrowing the rule of reason.”

Whatever the effects of our homogenizing mass culture, it is still possible to evoke a meaningful response [to gun safety lapses].

Saturday, May 19, 2007

soft war porn

warning: extreme lapses in gun safety.
as seen on C&L

Friday, May 11, 2007

oh say, can we see

some child left behind (bars).

Friday, May 04, 2007

the man.

gun safety incarnate.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


Wednesday, April 04, 2007

why gun safety?

These are empty, cruel little boys and girls with serious deficiencies in their characters. They are lost souls, walking this earth without ever learning the meaning of decency, empathy or morality.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

um? duh.

1972. Gun Safety for Nixon.

from the masters

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Touring a Caterpillar factory in Peoria, Ill., the Commander in Chief got behind the wheel of a giant tractor and played chicken with a few wayward reporters. Wearing a pair of stylish safety glasses--at least more stylish than most safety glasses--Bush got a mini-tour of the factory before delivering remarks on the economy.

"I would suggest moving back," Bush said as he climbed into the cab of a massive D-10 tractor."I'm about to crank this sucker up."

As the engine roared to life, White House staffers tried to steer the press corps to safety, but when the tractor lurched forward, they too were forced to scramble for safety.

"Get out of the way!" a news photographer yelled. "I think he might run us over!" said another. White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves. Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor.

Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor's window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned.

The episode lasted about a minute, and Bush was still laughing when he pulled to a stop. He gave reporters a thumbs-up. "If you've never driven a D-10, it's the coolest experience," Bush said afterward.

true story

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

advanced text

Good evening.

This is the 37th time I have spoken to you from this office, where so many decisions have been made that shaped the history of this Nation. Each time I have done so to discuss with you some matter that I believe affected the national interest.

In all the decisions I have made in my public life, I have always tried to do what was best for the Nation. Throughout the long and difficult period of my destructive time on earth, I have felt it was my duty to persevere, to make every possible effort to complete the term of office to which you elected me.

In the past few days, however, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base in the Congress to justify continuing that effort. As long as there was such a base, I felt strongly that it was necessary to see the constitutional process through to its conclusion, that to do otherwise would be unfaithful to the spirit of that deliberately difficult process and a dangerously destabilizing precedent for the future.

But with the disappearance of that base, I now believe that the constitutional purpose has been served, and there is no longer a need for the process to be prolonged.

I would have preferred to carry through to the finish whatever the personal agony it would have involved, and my family unanimously urged me to do so. But the interest of the Nation must always come before any personal considerations.
From the discussions I have had with Congressional and other leaders, I have concluded that because of the my dangerous ego, I might not have the support of the Congress that I would consider necessary to back the very difficult decisions and carry out the duties of this office in the way the interests of the Nation would require.

I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interest of America first. America needs a full-time President and a full-time Congress, particularly at this time with problems we face at home and abroad.

To continue to fight through the months ahead for my personal vindication would almost totally absorb the time and attention of both the President and the Congress in a period when our entire focus should be on the great issues of peace abroad and prosperity without inflation at home.

Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.

Vice President Cheney, should his evil and shriveled heart hold out, will be sworn in as President at that hour in this office.

I regret deeply any injuries that may have been done in the course of the events that led to this decision. I would say only that if some of my Judgments were wrong, and some were wrong, they were made in what I believed at the time to be the best interest of the Nation.

To have served in this office is to have felt a very personal sense of kinship with each and every American. In leaving it, I do so with this prayer: May God's grace be with you in all the days ahead. Heh.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

went away.

Friday, December 01, 2006

believe in

They believe in nothing; there is no core; they are blank. Perhaps, one might argue, they believe in one thing: their own supremacy. But that in itself is the nothingness that contains the emptiness.

Using this concept – that they believe in nothing, they exist alone in a barren and meaningless isolation – as a lens through which to view their actions, or inactions, is the only plausible way to make sense of them. Any other analysis fails to accommodate understanding. There is no other motivation: not rule of law nor the greater good, not greed, nor logic, nor conservatism, radicalism, benevolence, cruelty, compassion, nor loathing. None of it works.

The only coherent thread running through their actions is a detached maniacal selfishness obscuring a hibernating fear: exposure as being the smallest of persons while acting as if the they are the greatest of men.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

texas 22


a little more safety for all.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

cheney hunting

fake guest posting by Tristero

That's right, once more, Cheney's roaming the countryside, and he's got a gun.
But don't let that stop you. Get to your voting precinct and cast your vote for the Democrats.

For safety's sake, yours and ours.

UPDATE: (from tbogg) Dick Cheney will be spending election day hunting with his daughter who will not get shot in the face because she is quicker on her feet than a 78-year old man. Besides , it's not lesbian season in South Dakota ...yet.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

tanned rested and ready

Well folks, this has been an amazing game. Agnew was thrown out of the game earlier, and here in the final period, Nixon has handed the ball to Ford, and left the field in disgrace.

Ford’s got the ball! Ford stumbles, Ford fumbles! Carter picks up the ball and runs!

Wait, Carter stops to help someone on the sideline tie her shoe; folks I have never seen anything like this before! Carter has remained inbounds and resumes his move down the field. And here comes Kennedy, and Kennedy trips Carter! That’s right fans, Carter has been tripped by someone on his own team! I thought I’d seen it all! The refs do not stop play, but they are huddled behind the action, holding some sort of conference. And here comes some of Carter’s defensive line. And they knock down Carter and watch the ball dribble away.

And here comes Reagan, looking fresh, and strong, a man who is playing himself in an epic movie about himself. Reagan just picks up the ball, and is moving right. Atwater calls in a new play and Reagan, whose pants look just painted on, moves ahead as he waves and blows kisses to the adoring fans. How does he look so good? Reagan grinds ahead, powerfully destroying the turf as he moves. He seems to be promising that the damage will heal itself through magic. And he looks great as he passes the ball to Bush, who appears to be realizing the field needs fixing, and looking and sounding so much not like Reagan, he looses the ball to Clinton.

And Clinton moves down the middle of the field, but what’s this, it looks like Gingrich has driven Clinton’s team off the field, and now Gingrich is down and here comes Delay. Delay is hitting Clinton, and Clinton is taking some punishment but he’s still standing, and Delay is pestering Clinton like an annoying bug. You can feel this man’s pain. Clinton zigs and zags, and he tries to hand-off to Gore, but Gore can’t seem to bend his arms or legs, its as if his joints don’t work: he looks like one stiff man.

And the refs break out of their huddle and hand the ball to Bush. One of the refs has a copy of the rulebook, and he jots something in the margin, and shows it to Gore. Gore shrugs and walks off the field. The ref tears out the page he wrote on and throws the book into a pile of crumpled Gatorade cups on the sidelines. And Bush has the ball. And Bush looks like a scared little boy wearing his daddy’s gun to town for his first drink in a saloon.

Now it seems as if some fans in the Corporate Skyboxes have been attacked by hooligans from the box seats below. Cheney and Rumsfeld, back in the game after they had been forced off the field with Nixon, break off from giving Bush a pat on the ass and send vast numbers of children into the bleachers for what reason we cannot tell. Condi Rice is waving her pompoms with the other cheerleaders, and Colin Powell is picking up dirty towels. Who would have guessed Nixon’s playbook would be so dangerous in Rove’s hands?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

the rumsfeld problem: check. and mate.

In a sudden shift in American foreign policy, Donald Rumsfeld was removed from his office after his fate was determined by President Bush. Mr. Bush's decision was the result of a game of chess between the two men, in which Mr Bush prevailed.

The idea of a chess competition to determine how the administration would deal with the Rumsfeld problem was put forward by the president, who had been taking chess lessons from Vice President Dick Cheney.

The failure of Rumsfeld's tenure as Secretary of Defense, which has resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of innocents, with many more to come, the ruination of American prestige around the world, the destruction of the world's foremost military, and the denial of global civil rights coupled with continued desperation and deprivation for many of the world's citizens, had become an irritant and potential liability to the administration.

The actual chess game took place at the secretary's office at the president's ranch complex in Crawford, Texas. The secretary's king was irredeemably lost during the president's use of the "Ruby Jack Gambit," in which a player, after backing himself into a seemingly untenable and indefensible situation, up-ends the board, scattering the chessmen across the floor.

UPDATE: There are now reports that Mr Rumsfeld has suffered a severe gunshot injury, perhaps to the shoulders, neck and face. He has been transferred to a medical facility and will be held there pending an investigation of the blood alcohol level of those present at the chess match, which is expected to begin in approximately 14 hours.

UPDATE 2: It has been confirmed that earlier reports of Donald Rumsfeld being removed from his office are literally true, and that he has been taken to hospital as the result of an extreme lapse of gun safety following a chess game with the president. The president has yet to have Karl Rove's determination about how to proceed, and until Mr Cheney wakes up, after having had a beer with lunch, the media is directed to ignore the story, and the NSA has been ordered to increase the surveillance on all Americans.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

fakiest smile

"My prayer was basically: 'Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.' Now, when they took the shot, from my side, I thought it was fakiest smile I'd ever given. But through the camera, it was glowing. I mean, it had the right impact. Poor old left couldn't use it at all."

from TIME via BooMan Trib

Monday, March 27, 2006

Public Safety

Making Texas More Gun Safety Lapse Free:
Texas Department of Public Safety v Tom DeLay


Friday, March 24, 2006

blame the flag

The blame the flag crowd is at it again.

They say, What’s wrong with America?

The flag, that’s who! Why doesn’t it inspire Americans to defend it better? How can it just sit there, waving in its endless rippling, waiting for enemies to burn it? Why do countless children mumble a pledge of allegiance to it, almost uniformly misunderstanding the words and their meanings?

Why does it allow sweaty millionaire athletes to wrap themselves in it on international television? Why does it allow salesmen to use it to advertise their merchandise? Why does it allow corporations to use it as a logo while lying politicians wear it on their lapels?

Why did it allow the federal government to dictate its design, proportions and care?

How did we let it become spangled?

Well, strong leaders disagree with the blame the flag crowd. Patriots don’t hate a strong American symbol, and they are full of resolve, not straw!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

habeas corpus christi

let us begin.

The concept behind the phrase, habeas corpus (you have the body in Latin), is the foundation of one of our most basic democratic principals: tyranny under an oppressive and arbitrary ruler is bad while freedom from tyranny is good. The idea that all individuals should enjoy the right not to be imprisoned without cause demonstrated by the state, commonly associated with the phrase habeas corpus, is fundamental to liberty.

Habeas corpus, in historical context, predates the Magna Carta, which codified the concept in 1215. Over time, the idea was further defined in British Law and was considered common law in the British colonies which became the United States. Habeas corpus is mentioned specifically and uniquely in the body of the United States Constitution, in contrast to other fundamental rights, which were amended to the original text and are known as the “bill of rights.”

A writ of habeas corpus is the fundamental instrument for safeguarding individual freedom against arbitrary and lawless state action, concluded the United States Supreme Court in 1969, in the case, Harris v. Nelson.

Upholding this tradition is manifest in order for a government to be organized to best protect liberty.

The current president resides in a fiction in which he believes he can best serve our liberty by dismantling or ignoring our most basic traditions of freedom, including his obligation to be bound by the rule of law.

He is guided and abetted by a band of criminals who, although motivated by various agenda, form a criminal enterprise engendering war profiteering, voter fraud, bank fraud, tax fraud, destruction of public lands during the theft of its content, poisoning of children, bigotry, illegal propagandizing, money laundering, drug abuse, and murder. They brazenly hold the idea of democracy in contempt, no longer even making pretense that the law applies to themselves.

When the law no longer applies to these persons, the law no longer protects any of us. When the public debate finds as its pole the question of how best to justify such disregard for the law, the pursuit of a free and just society has stopped.

The current president on the United States, after ensuring a stable transfer of power to persons outside his criminal circle of advisors and enablers, must resign. Until he does, no one of us is safe or at liberty.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

constitutional playbook

If we just take a bit of the constitution and move it around here, and sort of forget a little bit of a part over there, and hide a few phrases up over there, and redefine this word to mean its opposite, and kind-of forget to do this part, and add in a bit of a new role for that guy and replace one thing over there, and as long as that guy does what he’s told and no one asks any questions, then once we remove those guys over there, we’ll have a helluva a play and can win the big game.

So get on board and get out there and shut the fuck up. Or else.

. . . the right of the people to [observe proper gun safety protocols] shall not be infringed.

Friday, March 10, 2006


heh. who do they think they are?

more good news

  • Its been weeks since anyone has apologized to a senior official of the current administration for being shot in the face by the Vice President while he was drinking, on medication, and experiencing a severe lapse in gun safety.

  • Meanwhile, in Iraq, gun safety lapses have been eclipsed by car-bomb safety lapses as the number-one obliterator of children and other liberated persons.

  • Also, it has been documented by FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security, that, on the Gulf Coast, weather-related safety lapses still hold the lead as the primary killer of people and destroyer of property, well out-pacing gun safety lapses.

  • The administration has re-doubled its effort to punish everyone.

  • In South Dakota, women will be required by law to use their uteruses to provide more objects for gun safety education.

  • And while you read this, a few more minutes have elapsed since anyone has apologized to a senior official of the current administration for being shot in the face by the Vice President while he was drinking, on medication, and experiencing a severe lapse in gun safety.

    Have a gun-safety-lapse-free day!

  • Sunday, March 05, 2006

    upon further review

    You may be surprised to learn that there is gun safety protocol even in a war zone. The army just figured that out and

    upon further review,

    they are re-investigating the death of football star Pat Tillman, who joined the army to fight terrorists after the attacks on September 11. After wasting his time and risking his life in Iraq, the army leadership,

    upon further review,

    sent him to Afghanistan, where he wanted to go and kill the enemy, but instead was killed, we were told, by the enemy, but

    upon further review

    we found out he was killed by friendly fire, but now,

    upon further review

    we may find out he was killed in an act of negligent homicide, but

    upon further review

    we can conclude he was killed during a lapse of gun safety with extreme prejudice.

    Tuesday, February 28, 2006

    global war on safety

    There is a war on. Several, actually.

    The war on poverty. The war on drugs. The global war on terrorism.

    As we analyze these wars we see that poverty is up. Drug use is up. And of course, terrorism is up. What can we conclude?

    To improve safety, especially gun safety, we need to declare a war on safety. Of course the war requires a leader: a safety czar. The choice there would seem obvious. When not engaged in extreme lapses of proper procedure, the Vice President can lead us to safety.

    And when we win the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on terror and the war on safety, perhaps we can declare war on competence.

    Sunday, February 26, 2006

    safety deficit

    A true conservative estimate of gun safety adherence versus gun safety lapses shows an alarming safety deficit. Our nation had come to a balance of these forces some years ago, but any surplus we had has evaporated.

    Why is this? Not for lack of strong leadership; because of weak followers.

    Our leaders sacrifice safety because of the danger. We bend the rules today to avoid living in fear of the never-ending threat to safety, and so our children can face different, more advanced safety techniques tomorrow. The founding fathers had the foresight to put a structure in place for us; and the situation demands we find the secret loopholes to empower the thorough and insightful leaders of today to ignore this framework at their discretion.

    Thomas Jefferson, the second Vice President of these United States, may have owned human beings and kept them as slaves, but he never shot his friend in the face during a lapse in gun safety.

    Saturday, February 25, 2006


    A little bit of history.

    The “bible” of gun safety, The Gun Safety Bible is to gun safety what the Bible is to religion. It was written in six days, and then they went out shooting, safely. No one got shot in the face.

    Gun Safety did not rise from the mud and become what it is today by accident. It was immaculately designed and carefully created. It wasn’t there, and then it was.

    George Orwell Darwin, the father of gun safety, whose own son was tragically killed during a severe lapse of gun safety, warned us to practice the word and deed of his teaching in order to live with guns in accordance with best safety practices.

    Safety is not optional.

    Thursday, February 23, 2006


    We all have a choice. Adhere to gun safety guidelines or shoot our friends in the face. That seems pretty simple. But what about places where the choice is out-lawed?

    Some states in the union want mandatory non-compliance with gun safety guidelines to become a conditional voluntary practice in most cases, with hardly an exception for extraordinary lapses in safety. How could this happen? What if someone is forced to not comply with the customary safety practices by a relative in an involuntary or violent manner? Then who’s not being safe? And whose safety is at risk? The gun or the gun-owner?

    And if this happens here, what about in other countries? How can we take a strong stand against China, where safety rules are forced on its citizens, when we continue to buy guns made there?

    Who could even read the safety manual?

    Wednesday, February 22, 2006

    safety corruption

    Corruption, or willful ignorance of gun safety guidelines, has become endemic in America. Chalk it up to modern times or the decay of moral strength. Sure we have safety watchdogs, but who is dogging the dog-watchers?

    Some anti-gun advocates say it is gun-users who are responsible for the corruption, or willful ignorance of gun safety. But let’s have a look at this theory. If gun-users are responsible for this safety corruption, then why are non-gun users affected by it?

    Because the corruption cuts both ways.

    Lets look at the most recent example of gun safety corruption. The Vice President shot his friend in the face. He had had a beer or two. He was on medication. He fired his gun well out of the safe zone in front of his hunting party. He used his power to avoid the police for half a day after the shooting. Even though they had all this time, the principals still couldn’t get their stories straight. And many witnesses are not being compelled to come forth with the truth.

    But most of the time the Vice president is not using a gun. When he sets energy policy with his petroleum executive friends, he is not using a gun. When he tells a Senator to “Go fuck yourself,” although he might want to, he is not using a gun. When he lies and gets the USA to illegally invade a sovereign nation, he is not using a gun. When he helps Halliburton make billions of dollars, he is not using a gun.

    And, at those times, at least, he is not shooting anyone in the face.

    domestic gun spying

    The president needs to keep us safe. We all agree. And Attorney General Gonzales has given him the power to do so.

    How? By monitoring gun safety as it relates to terrorist activity. It’s pretty simple. If your gun can shoot across an international border, the president does not need any oversight to make sure terrorists don’t use it for terror-related purposes.

    How can a gun terrorize? Imagine if bin Laden had a gun instead of four airplanes, and Condoleezza Rice had gotten a warning that he planned to throw his gun through the window of your house. Now you get the picture.

    So protect your freedom by not using it. The President, Vice President, and the rest of the guys and gals in the front office know about gun safety, and are working hard to keep us free. And safe.

    Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    safety cuts

    As the president renewed his call for making the federal gun safety cuts permanent, angry critics charged that the safety cuts really benefit the wealthiest one percent of Americans and shift the burden of danger to the middle class.

    Of course the safety cuts are spread evenly across the spectrum of all Americans, and have been contributing to the growth of gun safety in the country. And while the liberal establishment screams about more gun danger and more gun violence, responsible people will continue to use guns in a safe and effective manner.

    The long feared up-turn in gun recklessness among the rich and powerful has failed to materialize. And if an unfortunate lapse in safety were to happen to a member of the power elite, please note: they follow the same rules as the rest of us.

    god hates guns

    You hear it every day.

    Its in the Bible, or not, as the case may be.

    God hates guns so much, He left them out of the good book altogether. He mentions slings and arrows, swords, stonings, staffs, scepters, and his number one weapon of choice, the crucifix. But no guns. He didn’t even allow guns to be invented until his son had been killed over a thousand years.

    But wait a minute; this argument is easily discredited.

    When He gave us the constitution he put it right in there. The second amendment reads: the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

    But the second commandment says: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

    So you can see, if you've ever been in a church, that the gun is all right with the Lord.

    Just follow the safety guidelines.


    Fear in itself is not a bad thing. Young people should be afraid of the consequences they may suffer from unwise choices. Abstinence encourages young people to be thoughtful and responsible for their choices. Irresponsibility has consequences. Fear is a healthy respect for the consequences of bad decisions.

    Abstinence from gun safety lapses is the only 100% effective method of preventing unwanted shootings.

    Monday, February 20, 2006

    follow the rules

    Here are a few gun safety rules that are especially useful when hunting with friends in Texas. They are from the NRA.

    Failure to heed these safety guidlines may result in shooting your friend in the face.

    Know your target and what is beyond.
    Be absolutely sure you have identified your target beyond any doubt. Equally important, be aware of the area beyond your target. This means observing your prospective area of fire before you shoot. Never fire in a direction in which there are people or any other potential for mishap. Think first. Shoot second.

    Never use alcohol or over-the-counter, prescription or other drugs before or while shooting.
    Alcohol, as well as any other substance likely to impair normal mental or physical bodily functions, must not be used before or while handling or shooting guns.